Zumba. The Latin inspired dance workout designed to melt off the pounds by shaking ones hips like Shakira in a music video. I'm sure it works. I would never do it because I wasn't born with the gyrating gene. And before you tell the computer screen that I don't have to be a pro to attempt it, because heck, everyone looks foolish,.. Save it. I'm not going to argue with Shakira. She
did say her hips won't lie. But her's were Latin, mine are Irish.
My beef is not with an honest workout class held in a gym on a cold Midwestern day, filled with middle aged women wearing socks and tennis shoes. My write up is about Cruise Ship Zumba. Or as Kevin and I nicknamed... the Triple B's. Granted, this was all thought up as my face was planted into a lounge chair for 7 days, only looking up for a good laugh at the participants, or because my drink was empty. But I was subjected it to it twice a day, for seven days, so now, my material feels never ending.
The "Triple B's," consist of three items that if present while working out, may constitute a true calorie busting activity. Have one, missing two, your workout still counts. Include two, and skip the one, it still will trim that waist. But, if you strapped on your sweat band expecting to relieve your booty of the chocolate brownie downed at breakfast, and you find yourself in a "Triple B" situation.... sorry my friend, this workout is not going to make those jeans any less, Skinny.
As amature cruisers, Kevin and I feel solid in our defining of each "B." We couldn't tell you about the engine of the ship, or who the lead captain was, but we can definetly let you know if your workout is about to be a collosal failure. So, if you find yourself with a:
Bikini, Beer,
and Barefoot, you have entered into Triple B disaster.
You see, we thought about it, and any of those B's by themselves could be good for the body. I've seen tri atheletes in competition, riding bikes or running, in a bikini. In my days as a one time marathoner, I've been known to throw back a shot of beer offered at the fueling stations. I've seen beach volleyball players in the Olympics competing in bare feet, and bikini's.
However. If you find yourself on a cruise ship, in a strapless bikini, bare footed,
with a beer as your source of hydration, then we are sorry to disappoint, but you are not working out, however warm you might become in that Carribbean sun. You may be giving the fat man in the lounge chair behind you the best thrill of his day; but you are not working out. You might even be moderately good at imitating the world class (may I add professional) Zumba leader with your skinny pre-child bearing hips, and white girl moves; but still, you are not working out. And if, by some miracle, with all of your intense jumping your strapless bikini top is still hanging on, then you are lucky, but, still not working out. You are doing something else, but it is not exercise, it is called, clubbing.
But, the ladies on this boat continue to flock around the leader, and the buffet. So there's a chance my findings could be incorrect. All I know is that Zumba, on a cruise ship, or a gym, is just not for me. There is something that screams high school horror story when I think about dancing in public. And I would much rather be running in my basement than clubbing mid day. But it's all the rage. So maybe some day, if I find myself cruising again, I might just lift my face off of my chair long enough to see someone actually sweating from all of that hip action. Then I will have to admit, Shakira and her hips, were right all along.
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| morning Zumba class |
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| Afternoon Zumba.. bad picture, but so many more bikinis, and beer |
